OK so I went to Vegas. Went with my sister and three other friends. We had an amazing time. I actually won $600 on the silly nickel slots. I had a blast sitting with Anna, both of us winning, smoking, drinking, laughing. Anna is my sisters best-friend, has been since they were 16 (they are both in their late 30's now). We stayed up till the wee hours of the morning together. She is a real kick.
We spent our days (Saturday, Sunday and half of Monday) visiting all the sites and being basic tourists. Vegas is at odds with itself in that it is both lovely and a mess. At night, with the warm winds and bright lights, it is amazing. When the sun lays heavy on your skin and the streets are crowded with drunken frat boys, well I am sure you can guess how I feel about that. Overall, I like Vegas. Next year we will all go again and stay at New York - New York. I hope to fly MY best friend in for the trip.
Life has been pretty chaotic lately. Not bad, just busy. There are so many things to plan and so many people to see this year, I am unsure how the man and I will fit it all in. The most important thing we want to do this summer is see the kids. His kids. If we can find a full week to spend with them we will be thrilled! It may be a problem with his daughter as we have a rough time with her mom but I am sure it will all work out. As hard as it can be to set everything up, it is always worth it.
My best friend flew out for the weekend to see our other best friend perform her Master's Thesis. She is graduating in May with her Masters in Speech and Communications. Her performance was AMAZING. She is so talented. She received a standing ovation. Pea and I gave her a bouquet of flowers fit for a Miss America winner. She cracked up when we handed it to her. MK never ceases to amaze me.
Family is all great. My sister and I will be working on her house this summer with her contractor hubbie. They are getting a new entryway, kids are getting a new bathroom and I am doing all the painting that needs to be done. I think we will work on my mom’s kitchen as well. Mom will be in England for three weeks this summer to see our family so I may try to knock it out then.
Much love and kisses
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Maintaining Decency
Anyone who knows me knows I have never wanted children of my own. Since I was 17 I have made it clear to any partner I have had that they would never have kids with me. I feel as though too many people bring children into this world selfishly and for reasons of needing to be needed or for monetary value. I also feel that although kids are amazing, there are too many people in this world as is.
Kids like me; some even love me, because I am kind and loving with them. I can spoil them because I have the means to, not because I wish to purchase affection from them. And some children I have spent time with are so starved for love that it makes me hurt for them. I never pass judgment or make them feel anything other than cared for when they are with me. I have made bonds with some kids in my life and I really love that.
My partner has two WONDERFUL children. They are both in their teens. I love spending time with them whenever we get the chance to. They both love spending time with me. They call me independently of calling their father, to seek advice or just to say hi. It is great. But they both know I am a friend and an advocate for them, not a person trying to raise them. They reach out to me because I always make myself available to them. I have cooked meals for my BF’s son and done hair and makeup with my BF’s daughter. I have also held them both when they have cried. As I am with most people, I try to be there for them when they need me.
Some people think that unless you personally breed you will always be jealous of what they have. Let me tell you what I have – I have the freedom to do whatever I please. I can travel, I can explore, and I can be with just me whenever I want. I made a choice a long time ago that I just didn’t want to give up my freedom. Maybe that sounds selfish, but with all my nieces and nephews I figured my sister took care of the kid thing for both of us ;)
There will never be a time when I regret not having kids because I know who I am. I feel great about my life; my job is fun and satisfying (not to mention pays me an arm and a leg and with my stocks I will be rich one day soon, heh). I have a lovely home, drive a fucking fantastic race car, travel when I please and shop even more than I travel. But way more importantly – I have a wonderful, supportive family, an amazing partner, the most beautiful friends – and I have me. More than any Princess could ever wish for.
Kids like me; some even love me, because I am kind and loving with them. I can spoil them because I have the means to, not because I wish to purchase affection from them. And some children I have spent time with are so starved for love that it makes me hurt for them. I never pass judgment or make them feel anything other than cared for when they are with me. I have made bonds with some kids in my life and I really love that.
My partner has two WONDERFUL children. They are both in their teens. I love spending time with them whenever we get the chance to. They both love spending time with me. They call me independently of calling their father, to seek advice or just to say hi. It is great. But they both know I am a friend and an advocate for them, not a person trying to raise them. They reach out to me because I always make myself available to them. I have cooked meals for my BF’s son and done hair and makeup with my BF’s daughter. I have also held them both when they have cried. As I am with most people, I try to be there for them when they need me.
Some people think that unless you personally breed you will always be jealous of what they have. Let me tell you what I have – I have the freedom to do whatever I please. I can travel, I can explore, and I can be with just me whenever I want. I made a choice a long time ago that I just didn’t want to give up my freedom. Maybe that sounds selfish, but with all my nieces and nephews I figured my sister took care of the kid thing for both of us ;)
There will never be a time when I regret not having kids because I know who I am. I feel great about my life; my job is fun and satisfying (not to mention pays me an arm and a leg and with my stocks I will be rich one day soon, heh). I have a lovely home, drive a fucking fantastic race car, travel when I please and shop even more than I travel. But way more importantly – I have a wonderful, supportive family, an amazing partner, the most beautiful friends – and I have me. More than any Princess could ever wish for.
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