It only took me 6 or so years but I have finally published my pictures of Costa Rica. Since almost all of you have heard my tales I will spare you but just looking at those photos again make me long to return.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Mojito Queen Strikes Again
I went out with co-workers last night for a kind of celebration. As usual we overindulged in food and drink. So not a bad thing. Oysters and booze, woo-hoo.
I am very lucky to work with such an amazing group of people. Surrounded by the best and the brighest. Did I mention they also love me?
I am very lucky to work with such an amazing group of people. Surrounded by the best and the brighest. Did I mention they also love me?
Monday, February 20, 2006
Arrr Matey
I can not describe the feeling of sailing in the bay on an $800,000, four bedroom, three bathroom yacht. It was amazing.
My CTO told me I needed to get out of the house more (what does he know, I have been out, I swear) so he invited me on a day-long sailing trip with a close friend of his. Funny thing here is that another dear friend of mine was also going to be on the boat and had told me many times I should join him so I was killing two birds at once.
I met Jordan and Helga at Jordan's house at nine AM (on a Sunday mind you) and after a quick jaunt to the Sports Basement for gloves we headed to the Marina in Alameda to meet up with the crew for our 10 hour tour of the bay.
The yacht was a brand new 54 foot sailing vessel that blew my mind. It was gorgeous. They hadn't even removed the blue tape from where they are vanishing the wood, that's how new it is.
The crew consisted of Matt (our Captain), Jordan, Helga, Paulie, Adam, Brian, Lee, Gail and me. Matt has been sailing for five years and can run any boat except a commercial vessel so we were in great hands. We left the Marina at noon and sailed out towards the Golden Gate Bridge. While we did pass The Gate, the wind for sailing was stronger on the bay side so our trip into the vast ocean was short lived.
We toured every bit of the bay while listening to great music, eating yummy food and threatening to toss anyone overboard who didn't do my bidding. I spent a lot of time chatting with Matt's mom, Gail, a lovely Jewish mom who cuddled with me when I got cold and Paulie was too busy tacking.
Sometime around 7 PM, after I had sailed us through the channel, we docked at Jack London Square (surreal pulling up to guest parking in a yatch) and had a great sashimi and sake dinner at Yoshi's. The company was awesome. The food was (as usual) perfect and I was so sleepy I almost nodded off after two drinks and some Shiro Maguro. Hmmm perfect.
We didn't dock back into Alameda until after 10 PM and I was so ready to go home and snuggle up for the night. I slept sounder last night than I have in a month. Feeling a little sore today, but it was well worth it.
My CTO told me I needed to get out of the house more (what does he know, I have been out, I swear) so he invited me on a day-long sailing trip with a close friend of his. Funny thing here is that another dear friend of mine was also going to be on the boat and had told me many times I should join him so I was killing two birds at once.
I met Jordan and Helga at Jordan's house at nine AM (on a Sunday mind you) and after a quick jaunt to the Sports Basement for gloves we headed to the Marina in Alameda to meet up with the crew for our 10 hour tour of the bay.
The yacht was a brand new 54 foot sailing vessel that blew my mind. It was gorgeous. They hadn't even removed the blue tape from where they are vanishing the wood, that's how new it is.
The crew consisted of Matt (our Captain), Jordan, Helga, Paulie, Adam, Brian, Lee, Gail and me. Matt has been sailing for five years and can run any boat except a commercial vessel so we were in great hands. We left the Marina at noon and sailed out towards the Golden Gate Bridge. While we did pass The Gate, the wind for sailing was stronger on the bay side so our trip into the vast ocean was short lived.
We toured every bit of the bay while listening to great music, eating yummy food and threatening to toss anyone overboard who didn't do my bidding. I spent a lot of time chatting with Matt's mom, Gail, a lovely Jewish mom who cuddled with me when I got cold and Paulie was too busy tacking.
Sometime around 7 PM, after I had sailed us through the channel, we docked at Jack London Square (surreal pulling up to guest parking in a yatch) and had a great sashimi and sake dinner at Yoshi's. The company was awesome. The food was (as usual) perfect and I was so sleepy I almost nodded off after two drinks and some Shiro Maguro. Hmmm perfect.
We didn't dock back into Alameda until after 10 PM and I was so ready to go home and snuggle up for the night. I slept sounder last night than I have in a month. Feeling a little sore today, but it was well worth it.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
I Think You Will All Be Shocked to Read This...
Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Shalom
Tonight was the Club's annual Crab Feed. A large group of Jews enjoying crustations. I am relatively sure this is against the "Jewish" rules, but then again so are all of my tattoos so who am I to judge.
My father and step-mom were there, along with their boys, my grandpa, my aunt Ester, my sister and her brood. It was really wonderful. It was a little sad for me at times since I am used to having D at my side at such events but overall a really delightful evening.
The rest of my weekend was equally as enjoyable. I was fitted for my bridesmaids dress on Saturday. I was TWO hours early (I have no idea how that happened) so I got us breakfast and Kris and I sat around talking till the other maids showed up. The dresses are going to be beautiful. We are all very excited.
Back to the bat cave tomorrow, I have five employees starting in the next few weeks so I have a feeling there will be a lot of late nights in the month of February. Ah, nothing like being the the Queen of CM.
Shavua Tov
My father and step-mom were there, along with their boys, my grandpa, my aunt Ester, my sister and her brood. It was really wonderful. It was a little sad for me at times since I am used to having D at my side at such events but overall a really delightful evening.
The rest of my weekend was equally as enjoyable. I was fitted for my bridesmaids dress on Saturday. I was TWO hours early (I have no idea how that happened) so I got us breakfast and Kris and I sat around talking till the other maids showed up. The dresses are going to be beautiful. We are all very excited.
Back to the bat cave tomorrow, I have five employees starting in the next few weeks so I have a feeling there will be a lot of late nights in the month of February. Ah, nothing like being the the Queen of CM.
Shavua Tov
Friday, February 10, 2006
Crew Drive By's
As guests visit my new "home" I am forcing them to stop for a photo-op; Leon was my first victim. Thanks for playing along!New Digs
I was given my own office this week. How sweet is that. I play music, keep the lights a little softer (I look better in soft lights) and always keep my door open. The down-side? I am across from the restrooms (ummm, gross) and I am a little lonely cause I am a little isolated. But my crew stops by often to visit so it will all work out (except the bathroom thing).
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Oh NO She Didn't (said with a distinct urban African-American vernacular)
My best-friend says I am playing the victim. I will have none of that. I am not a victim here, she is right.
My relationship with my ex has been, at times, tumultuous. It has also been amazing. There is no lack of love between us. We even like each other, imagine that. But over the last month it has been very hard for us. I initiated the separation, he finalized it. There were no right or wrongs here people. We just couldn't find the middle ground.
What I feel I am expressing here is my sadness at the loss of someone I love dearly. I did not intend to come across as a victim, I won't allow myself to be a victim. I am responsible for my actions and some of those actions got us where we are. End of story.
Thanks for slapping me around Pea.
My relationship with my ex has been, at times, tumultuous. It has also been amazing. There is no lack of love between us. We even like each other, imagine that. But over the last month it has been very hard for us. I initiated the separation, he finalized it. There were no right or wrongs here people. We just couldn't find the middle ground.
What I feel I am expressing here is my sadness at the loss of someone I love dearly. I did not intend to come across as a victim, I won't allow myself to be a victim. I am responsible for my actions and some of those actions got us where we are. End of story.
Thanks for slapping me around Pea.
Monday, February 06, 2006
No Idle Hands Here
I have been painting my mom's house for weeks now. Her kitchen was the first to be done. As you can see, her cabinets were a dreary faux wood. Her walls were an unfortunate wallpaper with nightmarish flowers. I had to put three coats of primer and up to four coats of paint to cover anything at all. So far it is working and mom loves it.
I am enjoying it because it means I have a large scale project to work on every night instead of starring at my empty email box. Pathetic I know. It also keeps me active. Active is good. My mind is clear when I paint. I listen to music and dance around (like the visual?) By the end of the night I am covered in it. This morning my friend told me I looked like I had gray hair from all the primer left in it.
Progress is a little slow since there is SO much to be done but I am really pleased so far. I will update as I complete more.
I am enjoying it because it means I have a large scale project to work on every night instead of starring at my empty email box. Pathetic I know. It also keeps me active. Active is good. My mind is clear when I paint. I listen to music and dance around (like the visual?) By the end of the night I am covered in it. This morning my friend told me I looked like I had gray hair from all the primer left in it.
Progress is a little slow since there is SO much to be done but I am really pleased so far. I will update as I complete more.
Thank you
I want to thank EVERYONE who has stepped up to be kind and reach out to me. Strangers and loved ones alike. It makes a difference to know people care.
Love
Not Alright
All my life
I've been a little bit fucked up
And all family has made their way
And every day
I try to be better
In every way
But I don't have to prove a thing to you
You don't know me, I don't owe you
Do I?
I've done drugs
And my share of drinking
And all my friends
Have been right there with me
And money's tight
But soon things will get better
And we'll all be alright
It's not a lie when I say
That things could be better
Not a lie when I pray
For things to get better
When I say I'm alright
Don't look in my eyes
Cause I'm not alright
But I'm trying
Life is hard
But look at my armor
Everything bounces off of me
And every time some one tries to get me
Victory is mine
But I don't want to do the thing or two
That will erase me and embrace you
Do I?
It's not a lie when I say
That things could be better
Not a lie when I pray
For things to get better
When I say I'm alright
Don't look in my eyes
Cause I'm not alright
But I'm trying to be
I'm trying to be alright
All my life
I've been fucked up
And all family has made their way
But everyday I keep trying to win some way
It's not a lie when I say
That things could be better
Not a lie when I pray
For things to get better
When I say I'm alright
Don't look in my eyes
Cause I'm not alright
But I'm still trying
I've been a little bit fucked up
And all family has made their way
And every day
I try to be better
In every way
But I don't have to prove a thing to you
You don't know me, I don't owe you
Do I?
I've done drugs
And my share of drinking
And all my friends
Have been right there with me
And money's tight
But soon things will get better
And we'll all be alright
It's not a lie when I say
That things could be better
Not a lie when I pray
For things to get better
When I say I'm alright
Don't look in my eyes
Cause I'm not alright
But I'm trying
Life is hard
But look at my armor
Everything bounces off of me
And every time some one tries to get me
Victory is mine
But I don't want to do the thing or two
That will erase me and embrace you
Do I?
It's not a lie when I say
That things could be better
Not a lie when I pray
For things to get better
When I say I'm alright
Don't look in my eyes
Cause I'm not alright
But I'm trying to be
I'm trying to be alright
All my life
I've been fucked up
And all family has made their way
But everyday I keep trying to win some way
It's not a lie when I say
That things could be better
Not a lie when I pray
For things to get better
When I say I'm alright
Don't look in my eyes
Cause I'm not alright
But I'm still trying
Thanks Storm
Sunday, February 05, 2006
I Blog More as a Single Girl
Today was another roller coaster for me. Mostly I am OK but I have moments where I just sort of fall apart. Something very small can trigger me. An email from someone I would never have thought would have cared about what I am going through, a check-in from my other mom, my best friend joking about setting me up with a "nice Jewish man". Although thee things make me smile, they also make me cry. I know everyone intentions are kind and I really appreciate everything everyone is doing for me, but it doesn't make it any easier.
I have spent most of today working on the house. Keeping busy is really good for me. I am trying not to over think what happened. I am trying to accept it and move on. That is all there is left to do.
It was nice to hear that my family in SD is sorry to see me go. They have sent me so much love and so many well wishes. D made a joke about how I need not worry about losing them, it was he who was going to be shut out. Not funny and not true, but it was kinda cute when he said it. I know these people love me and I know that when I am ready I can always go spend time with them.
For now I am just learning to let go. These last five years have been hard, and I need time to heal.
I have spent most of today working on the house. Keeping busy is really good for me. I am trying not to over think what happened. I am trying to accept it and move on. That is all there is left to do.
It was nice to hear that my family in SD is sorry to see me go. They have sent me so much love and so many well wishes. D made a joke about how I need not worry about losing them, it was he who was going to be shut out. Not funny and not true, but it was kinda cute when he said it. I know these people love me and I know that when I am ready I can always go spend time with them.
For now I am just learning to let go. These last five years have been hard, and I need time to heal.
Fill Your Day With Selfishness
I got my hair done, I bought $500 worth of clothes, I had a dear friend bring me comfort food. I felt a little like a widow. Everyone checking in, everyone concerned.
I spoke with Jen briefly last night. She told me the break-up made her cry. She told me that she is afraid she will never see me again. I made the only promise to her that I could, I would try my best to remain in her life, but I will also respect my exes wishes.
My ex mother-in-finances also checked in with me. I believe she finally realizes it is over between me and her son and she too is very saddened. She made me understand what I mean to her and her kin and I can see this will be very difficult for all of us. I am guessing D is the only one who will go unscathed. Isn't that always the way of things.
I spoke with Jen briefly last night. She told me the break-up made her cry. She told me that she is afraid she will never see me again. I made the only promise to her that I could, I would try my best to remain in her life, but I will also respect my exes wishes.
My ex mother-in-finances also checked in with me. I believe she finally realizes it is over between me and her son and she too is very saddened. She made me understand what I mean to her and her kin and I can see this will be very difficult for all of us. I am guessing D is the only one who will go unscathed. Isn't that always the way of things.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Resignation
Separating from someone who has been in your life for a long time is a very painful process. I really didn't think I would ever have to do this again.
I spent years working with my ex to make things right. Our battles were ones we were willing to wage through because we loved each other. But as he said to me, love isn't enough. Although many things were right between us too many other things were wrong. I think I tried to fix the things I could and cried over those that were just too hard to face. As I sit here, trying to let the wave of emotions wash over me without drowning in them, I realize that he was right all along.
I had once asked him why he decided that he wanted to be partners with me. His response was two-fold. One was that he had looked around, had dated others and no-one was as wonderful as I was. The second was that his life was more fun with me in it than not. Those were powerful messages that are no longer true for us.
One of the things that fit and felt so right were his family (I told him it is like breaking up with 12 people at the same time). I love kids, his cousin, his mom and step-dad. His grandparents made me one of the family and I will miss them all dearly. That is not to say I will never be a part of their lives again but I know my ex will probably date pretty fast (just from past experience with him) and that is something I never deal with well and being connected to them is being connected to him, and that just can't be for now.
The hardest part for me is that we work together. Kinda difficult to break up with someone when you have to see them everyday. I think for him that will make it easier; for me it is going to be really hard. I constantly want to reach out to him but I know that isn't my place anymore.
I needed to ask for several things from him to help us separate; things like new back accounts and other financial stuff that needs tending to. I also asked him to remove my PW to his site. So this morning I checked, cause I wanted to be sure he was doing what I asked, and I could still login. Then I checked a few minutes ago and sure enough I am blocked. Those are the weird little things that make your stomach hurt. That force you to realize it is truly, and finally over.
I guess I am a little numb to it all. We have gone through this many times over the five years we have dated but we have always been able to come back together, mostly stronger and more in for the long haul. This time, however, we won't be doing that. He is done, I am done and there is nothing more to think about
To his family, thank you so much for making me one of your own. You have been loving and supportive in a way I will never forget. I will miss you this year at Christmas but know that you will always be in my heart.
To his kids, you have brought me more joy than you will ever know. You are strong and beautiful people and I will miss continuing to watch you grow up.
And finally to D:
Some words are sad to say
Some leave me tongue-tied
(But the hardest thing to tell you
But the hardest words I know
Are I love you goodbye
I love you goodbye
I spent years working with my ex to make things right. Our battles were ones we were willing to wage through because we loved each other. But as he said to me, love isn't enough. Although many things were right between us too many other things were wrong. I think I tried to fix the things I could and cried over those that were just too hard to face. As I sit here, trying to let the wave of emotions wash over me without drowning in them, I realize that he was right all along.
I had once asked him why he decided that he wanted to be partners with me. His response was two-fold. One was that he had looked around, had dated others and no-one was as wonderful as I was. The second was that his life was more fun with me in it than not. Those were powerful messages that are no longer true for us.
One of the things that fit and felt so right were his family (I told him it is like breaking up with 12 people at the same time). I love kids, his cousin, his mom and step-dad. His grandparents made me one of the family and I will miss them all dearly. That is not to say I will never be a part of their lives again but I know my ex will probably date pretty fast (just from past experience with him) and that is something I never deal with well and being connected to them is being connected to him, and that just can't be for now.
The hardest part for me is that we work together. Kinda difficult to break up with someone when you have to see them everyday. I think for him that will make it easier; for me it is going to be really hard. I constantly want to reach out to him but I know that isn't my place anymore.
I needed to ask for several things from him to help us separate; things like new back accounts and other financial stuff that needs tending to. I also asked him to remove my PW to his site. So this morning I checked, cause I wanted to be sure he was doing what I asked, and I could still login. Then I checked a few minutes ago and sure enough I am blocked. Those are the weird little things that make your stomach hurt. That force you to realize it is truly, and finally over.
I guess I am a little numb to it all. We have gone through this many times over the five years we have dated but we have always been able to come back together, mostly stronger and more in for the long haul. This time, however, we won't be doing that. He is done, I am done and there is nothing more to think about
To his family, thank you so much for making me one of your own. You have been loving and supportive in a way I will never forget. I will miss you this year at Christmas but know that you will always be in my heart.
To his kids, you have brought me more joy than you will ever know. You are strong and beautiful people and I will miss continuing to watch you grow up.
And finally to D:
Some words are sad to say
Some leave me tongue-tied
(But the hardest thing to tell you
But the hardest words I know
Are I love you goodbye
I love you goodbye
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
If the Sun Isn't Up...
Then why am I? I took my baby in to the vet's to be spayed. How horrible is that?! My poor little girl. She had to sleep with me last night because she wasn't allowed to have anything to eat or drink after midnight. She generally sleeps with mom, but there are always cookies in the morning and water bowls are strewn all over her room so she was stuck with me.
We turned off the lights at 10:30 last night - since we had to be up at 5:00 - and Isabella spent the rest of the night kicking me in the belly. Now I am laying in bed wishing I could just go back to sleep and stay in bed all day. Unfortunately that isn't going to happen.
I have deranged thoughts of heading into work early but that just seems crazy to me. I think I will lay here and sip coffee until I have to get in the shower. I have had enough excitement for the week, lounging seems to be the smart thing to do right about now. Work can wait.
We turned off the lights at 10:30 last night - since we had to be up at 5:00 - and Isabella spent the rest of the night kicking me in the belly. Now I am laying in bed wishing I could just go back to sleep and stay in bed all day. Unfortunately that isn't going to happen.
I have deranged thoughts of heading into work early but that just seems crazy to me. I think I will lay here and sip coffee until I have to get in the shower. I have had enough excitement for the week, lounging seems to be the smart thing to do right about now. Work can wait.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)