For my Mom

My mother is a wonderful person who has taught me how to be the person I am. I can not express my gratitude for everything she has done for me. She has always been supportive, caring, trusting (well there was that one time - but I was 13 and she was right not to trust me, I was bad) and loving. She has always taken responsibility for her wrong doings, and has always allowed me the time to learn from mine.

I can not thank her enough. I can not love her enough. She will always be there for me and that knowledge makes me a stronger, better woman.

Bar Night

Once again, we drank too much, smoked too much and had too much fun. Don't you wish you were there?

Schism

I know the pieces fit
'Cause I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smouldering
Fundamental differing
Pure intention juxtaposed
Will set two lovers' souls in motion
Disintegrating as it goes
Testing our communication
The light that feuled our fire then
Has a burned a hole between us so
We cannot see to reach an end
Crippling our communication

I know the pieces fit
'Cause I watched them tumble down
No fault, none to blame
It doesn't mean I don't desire to
Point the finger, blame the other
Watch the temple topple over
To bring the pieces back together
Rediscover communication

The poetry
That comes from the squaring off between
And the circling is worth it
Finding beauty in the dissonance

There was a time that the pieces fit
But I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smouldering
Strangled by our coveting
I've done the math enough to know
The dangers of our second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow
And strengthen our communication

Cold silence has
A tendency to
Atrophy any
Sense of compassion
Between supposed lovers

I know the pieces fit

My love to Tool

NOLA

I finally did it! I booked my flight to TX to see Miss Lyn! We aren't actually staying in TX, we are heading to NOLA for Easter weekend to visit her family. She asked me along and how can I say no?

We will be in TX together for only one full day but she promised to take me downtown this time. Otherwise you will see our asses pounding NOLA pavement, a drink in one hand and a shopping bag in the other!

Can hardly wait. Thanks for the invite girl.

Happy Birthday Beautiful

This weekend was my sister's 40th Birthday. She looks like she is turning 30. The bitch.

We threw her a party. Her best friends Anna and Jennifer themed it the 80's. They blew up pictures of all of us for the walls. They played all sorts of awesome music. There was a ton of food and a ton of good friends. Overall I think Alicia really enjoyed herself.

So... HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE. I love you!

Wouldn't More Than It's Done

Cool headed one
Started out as fun
Now it's sealed and delivered
All that's left is one
Started out to work it all out
But I couldn't fit the shoes

Oh well hope there's an angel
Looking out and watching over you

If love was a gun
Wouldn't hurt more that it's done
No if love was a gun
If love was a gun yeah

Hot headed one
What's done is done
Now it's sealed and delivered
Mercy's on the run
Woke up this morning
I was all cleaned out
Lord I just wanted to cry

Oh well hope there's an angel
Looking out and watching over you

If love was a gun
Wouldn't hurt more that it's done
No if love was a gun If love was a gun yeah

Angel, angel, angel, oh yeah

Fast living one
Now the race is won
Things got as hot as
The surface of the sun
No doubt we burnt it all out
Our summer's been and gone

Oh well hope there's an angel
Looking out and watching over you

Thanks Divinyls

Another Sleepless Night

This is the last day of our acquaintance
I will meet you later in somebody's office
I'll talk but you won't listen to me
I know what your answer will be

I know you don't love me anymore
You used to hold my hand when the plane took off
Two years ago there just seemed so much more
And I don't know what happened to our love

Today's the day
Our friendship has been stale
And we will meet later to finalise the details
Two years ago the seed was planted
And since then you have taken me for granted

But this is the last day of our acquaintance
I will meet you later in somebody's office
I'll talk but you won't listen to me
I know your answer already
I know your answer already
I know your answer already

Thanks Sinead

Red Hot

There must be something
In the way I feel
That she don’t want me to feel
The stare she bares cut me
I don’t care
You see so what if I bleed

I could never change
Just what I feel
My face will never show
What is not real

A mountain never seems to have
The need to speak
A look that shares so many seek
The sweetest feeling
I got from you
The things I said to you were true

I could never change
Just what I feel
My face will never show
What is not real

I could have lied I’m such a fool
My eyes could never never never
Keep their cool
Showed her and I told her how
She struck me but I’m fucked up now

But now she’s gone yes she’s gone away
A soulful song
That would not stay
You see she hides ’cause she is scared
But I don’t care
I won’t be spared

I could have lied I’m such a fool
My eyes could never never never
Keep their cool
Showed her and I told her how
She struck me but I’m fucked up now

I could have lied I’m such a fool
My eyes could never never never
Keep their cool
Showed her and I told her how
She struck me but I’m fucked up now

Thank you Peppers

A Dingo Ate My Baby

I am slowly recovering from my shenanigans of last night. I went to bed at 4:30 AM this morning, woke up at 11 and did the pretend walk of shame back to my car.

I went to the Dingo's birthday party last night with Kris, Pavlos and Paulie. We arrived early to lend a hand. Kris dressed as a Serpent Priestess, Paul and Pav in the usual Hawaiian garb and me dressed in a somewhat scandalous outfit. Since I don't own luau gear I decided to go decked out in fetish gear. Let me tell you, I was as close to naked in public as I ever get. Yes, there are pictures; frightening proof that I have no shame.

The party was held in a fetish house but the only play room was way in the back so that most of us could avoid anything that made us uncomfortable. I popped my head in a few times, let my jaw hit the floor and then giggled my way back to the main party. I felt like I was 12 and had never witnessed groups of people having sex in public. I have many times, but I never could contain my child-like reaction.

The house was beautiful. Very ornate and lush. The hosts were so very courteous and the guests were all genuinely friendly. I met a lot of new people, mostly men chasing me around the flat telling me I was hot. That in itself made it well worth getting into a comfort zone with my choice (or lack thereof) of clothing. It was very flattering and it has been a long time since I have had that kind of attention. It always amazes me what a little makeup and a black push-up bra does to the male species.

We drank Margarita's and Hurricane's from a slushy machine, we watched a hula dance and a pole dance, we ate amazing food and even limboed. The fact that I was in 5 inch boots meant I could not even get close to getting under that staff but it was fun to watch everyone else hustle it.

Paulie and I left at 2:30 and headed to Little Orphan Andy's for chow. Paulie really wanted to see me walk around in public in my outfit; the fact that we chose to eat in a gayborhood means NO ONE cared, but he was still amused. We got back to his house around 4 AM and we both crawled into bed to pass out. We ended up talking till about 4:30 and then the snores ensued.

And that pretend walk of shame I mentioned? That was me dressed in sweats, Paulie's flip flops and my sunglasses - carrying my boots and bra in one hand and my purse in another. I am sure his neighbors think he got lucky; who am I to let them down?

Fear and Loathing

Since I have moved into my new digs I seem to get twice as much work done. However, since I was moved into my new position I have 10 times more work than before. You do the math; it isn't adding up. I love my job. I love the people I work with. I am on the verge of a major melt down. Besides, people keep jumping into my office from the hallway to scare me, I think they secretly trying to kill me

I sat in my office last night at 6 PM, looked around at the mess called my desk and just started to cry. My gods, with all that is going on in my personal and professional life can anyone blame me? Big ol' crocodile tears. It was messy. Once I pulled myself together I drove home, my best-friend in my ear the whole way. She always knows how to cheer me.

There is a strong probability that Pea and I (with a few others) will be heading back to Costa Rica this summer. I can not tell you how that makes me feel. Well I can actually; like a million dollars wrapped in bacon. Doesn't that say it all?