Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Thanks the Gods

I was driving to the grocery store today behind a gray Blazer. As we passed through the intersection suddenly the Blazer in front of me was t-boned. I slammed on my brakes, threw my emergency brake and did some serious sliding to the side, all the while watching the Blazer flip on its hood. I jumped out of my car and ran to the Blazer, a woman was trapped inside. She was screaming as I crawled through the glass to get to her broken window. I reached inside and grabbed her hand. She was bleeding heavily from a gash in her head, her hands were shredded. She pulled and pulled on me, like she wanted to bring me in the car with her. I knew I could not move her till help arrived but she was begging me to get her out. I just kept reassuring her that help was on the way. I sat on down on a pile of glass so I could be closer to her. I held her hands and she kept reaching out and touching my face. I knew she was covering me in her blood but some things just don't matter.

The police arrived first. A car and a motor cycle. They pulled me away, thinking the blood was mine, that perhaps I had been a passenger in her truck and had somehow crawled out. The woman (whose name was Jackie) was calling for me. They took me to a curb, sat me down and told me to stay until the paramedic arrived. The firemen came next, they were looking me over as I was trying to explain that I wasn't hurt, I wasn't involved in the accident, I was just 4 seconds behind it. Once I had convinced them I was OK, they wanted to know whose blood was on my hands and face. When I explained what happened they immediately began to clean me up. They scrubbed my hands and wiped some blood off of my face. I hadn't even realized how much blood was on me until they were wiping at spots here and there.

They gently removed Jackie from her truck and I went over to her. I was told her cuts were not life threatening, simply put, head wounds bleed profusely and that is why we we're all in such a state.

Jackie had been on her way to therapy so I called her therapist for her (she gave me her purse so I could pull out her phone book.) She had also told me (while we held hands waiting for help) all about her life; that she was a recovering crack addict (three years sober) and that she had just received over-nights with her eight year old daughter. She was devastated that she wouldn't have a car to pick her daughter up the next day. I offered to call a friend for her as well and she had me call her sponsor. Her sponsor told me she would be there in minutes.

After the everyone triple checked me and I gave my statement I was allowed to go on my way. I ran my errand, still shaking, still nervous, still covered in a thin layer of someone else's blood.

Once I got home I washed everything again and headed over to my sisters to visit with my Aunt Ester and my grandfather. I was supposed to eat dinner but I was just too messy to be bothered. I had a short visit with them, as I will be having at the club with them on the 12th. I wish I had been in a better space for the visit but after what I witnessed I was just too exhausted to be there

So now I am home, just happy to be safe. I can not tell you what I was thinking when I left my car and crawled through the glass to get to a screaming scared stranger. Only afterwards did I think to myself - this is what is important, being there for others. Always.

Monday, January 30, 2006

And I Quote

`Tis the most tender part of love, each other to forgive.

- John Sheffield

Friday, January 27, 2006

I am Sorry for my Weary Life

Sometimes things just don't go as planned. It isn't that I expect an absolute resolution to each and every issue I have in my life, but I do trust the people I love to step up and take notice.

Recently I was hurt and confused. When I asked for a shoulder I received a back. It happens, there are occasions where people just can't deal with me. Does that mean that I am not more deeply hurt? No, I am afraid not.

There are things to be worked out. Things to clean up and finalize. I just don't have the heart for it; that, my friends, is broken.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Wise Words from Andy Rooney

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you:

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why?

Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Beautiful

She was over the top
And out of control
She ran away
At 13 years old
But she had her feet on the ground
And nobody pushed her around

Her mommy said "You'd better be a good girl"
Her teacher said "You'd better turn around"
And everyone said "Your a trouble maker"
But all she would ever say was "Ain't life beautiful?"

She was under the influence
Of out of the blue
And all the crimson colors
That seem to suit you
She is the one with the smile
The angel wearing devilish looks in her eyes

Her mommy said "You'd better be a good girl"
Her teacher said "You, turn that music down"
And everyone said "Girls a trouble maker"
But all she would ever say was "Ain't life beautiful?"

She will crawl around
And be ashamed
And she had better used to it

She was over the top
And out of her control
Big girls were not built
To walk the straight and narrow
She is the one wearing the crown
And everybody wants her around

And all would ever say was "Ain't life beautiful?"

Her mommy said "She always was a good girl"
Her teacher said "I turned that kid around"
And everyone said "Yeah, I used to fuck her"
And all she'd ever say is "Ain't life beautiful?"

Thanks
Storm

Thursday, January 19, 2006

The Suspense is Killing You

I still don't have enough information to spell out my situation but I should by the end of the month. Things tend to move a little slowly here. The one thing I can say is that my boss has resigned.

TB has been the best boss I have ever worked for. In the two years we have worked together he has taught me more about HR than all my previous bosses combined. He is a brilliant, hilarious, wonderful man and I hope to work with him again in the future.

I still have not decided what I want to do about his leaving. I have many options, some better than others, but I truly believe that I am wise enough to make the right choice for me and my future.

Friday, January 13, 2006

And I Am NOT Superstitious

I got some news at work today that could really change my career. I have terribly mixed feelings about it, but at this very moment I am just deeply saddened.

I am not at liberty to disclose anything until the dust settles next week but suffice to say I am in for a rough couple of weeks before I know exactly where I stand.

I will fill you in as soon as I can.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Better Late...

We celebrated Christmas Eve with my family at my house. We had about 20 people over for dinner and presents. It was very nice. I think this year we had promised one another that we would not overdo it, however my family doesn't really know how to NOT overdo it so...

My best-friend Pea was here for the holidays. As is our custom she came over to spend the night so she could be with me and mine for the morning festivities. I gave my room to her and her man Alex, and D and I took the guest bedroom. After exchanging gifts with neighbors and friends on the Eve and getting to bed around 2 AM my mom woke us all at 7 AM to go see the kids meet up with their gifts from Santa.

We drove the two blocks to my sisters (it was cold out so I don't want to hear about it) and walked into hot coffee and bagels and MOUNDS of gifts. We all sat down to open stockings and then set the two youngest, Madison and Hayden, after their Santa gifts. After the whole six minutes it took them to tear through those we started in on the gifts for the kids from the rest of us. It took about an hour for them to get through those! My whole family agrees that it is easier for the adults to relax after the kids are done so that has been the routine for the last 5 years.

Once the dust had settled from the kids we grabbed some food and sat down to the serious business of the adult swap. I was treated way too well this year. My man and I had already given each other our gifts but I had bought him two small things to open;
Barenaked on a Stick and his annual word-a-day calendar. Nothing huge, as we had seen BNL as our joint gift. However, my man loves to outdo me so...meet my new coat. I was shocked. He also got me new lotion and body spray in vanilla, but that was really for him. I love this coat, it is so very me and I love my man for knowing what I would really want.

My sister gave me the first season of Scrubs, my wonderful mom, after filling my stocking with gift cards and pretty things, gave me a large gift card to Lane Bryant and an AMAZING Rainbow Obsidian Face Goddess ring with an emerald in her headdress. Pea gave me a gorgeous Sweet Pea shirt and a real diamond for my nose piercing.

D and I gave away a Tivo, an LCD TV, a Anthropologie sweater, leather gloves, a trip to the local hottubs, massages, and some other stuff I will tell you about in a few minutes. People were pleased. I like making them happy, especially during the holidays.

D and I headed to San Diego on the 26th. We drove so we could have our car with us. We got Andrew and Jennifer on the 27th and the festivities began again. That night we exchanged gifts with D's kids and his mom and Frank. I got a Coach bag a new scarf, and a gift card to Barnes and Noble from mom and Frank, we had given them a new computer. D got personalized license plates for his motorcyle, a riding shirt and a Barnes and Noble gift card. Andrew gave us Serenity and a gift card to Outback.

It was time to give the kids their gifts. Mom and Frank gave them clothes and toys. We gave Andrew four wireless controllers, two for Xbox and two for PS2. We gave Jennifer a Dooney & Bourke purse. Both kids flipped out. They both looked like they had hit the lottery. Then we told Jennifer to check the cell phone pocket inside her purse and for Andrew to look deeper in the box; inside were tickets, two day passes to Disneyland and California Adventure Land. They were jumping up and down.

We visited with Lena and her brood the next day, had a visit with D's wonderful grandparents and then we had dinner with D's dad and his wife the next night, exchanged more gifts and generally had a lovely time.

The next morning we all dragged our butts out of bed at some ungodly hour and headed
to DL. We had booked a room across the street from DL and were able to leave our car there while we ran across the street to the park. Then we went wild. The park was very full so it took some time to get on the rides but it was awesome. Halfway through the day we split up, D and Andy went one way and Jen and I went another, just so we could have some alone time with the kids. Jen and I ran for Big Bear Mountain and then went to Splash Mountain. This would have been awesome except right after this picture was taken we hit the bottom and the water came over our heads and into our laps. As you can see from the photo, my mouth was open and I spent the next few seconds sputter and spitting. We were soaked, head to toe. We immediately went to three stores and purchased every warm thing we could find, two hundred dollars later we were warm again.

Shortly after that we met up with the boys and had dinner, hit as many more rides as possible and headed to the hotel. We were exhausted, our feet hurt, our backs hurt, our heads hurt. Poor D had a cold and we still had another day to go.

In the morning we headed back to DL to get in a few rides we missed the day before, then we headed to California Adventure. The first ride we went on was Tower of Terror. OMG, that is the BEST ride I have ever been on. I can not even describe it here, other than to say I have never screamed so loud on a ride in my life. Jen sat between Andy and I and on the first drop she grabbed my hand and we screamed together until we landed. It was brilliant.

By the end of the day we were all ready to go home. The kids slept in the back seat, I dozed in the front and poor D drove us back to SD

The next day we visited with family. We spent most of the day on the couch recovering. We were so sore from all that running around, and unfortunately, I was coming down with D's cold

NYE was no big deal. Jen and I rented some movies to watch. She and I were the only ones who lasted till midnight and I was out by 12:15. I woke D up to wish him a happy New Year and then crawled into bed

We headed back New Years day, leaving Jen with her grandparents for the next 24 hours until she headed back home. We dropped Andy off with his mom and spent a few minutes there before we drove those 8 hours back to our home

A long and beautiful trip, as always. D's family always feel like home to me. He and his kids, his folks, his cousins, his grandparents; I just want to thank them all for taking me in and making me one of theirs