And in Today's News

Atheist group offers free porn in exchange for Bibles

Atheist Agenda, an atheist group at U Texas San Antonio, staged a "Porno for Bibles" event, where they gave free pornography to people who traded in religious scripture. Link (via Zombiebite).

Interesting...I wonder if they were giving away the new Devil in Miss Jones?

God this Feels Good

I am still in bed. It is one PM and I am in my PJ's, watching movies, blogging, posting pics, and drinking coffee. I am so happy. Yes, I am lazy today, but seeing as how I worked a 50 hour week and went to the dojo three days in a row I am feeling OK about being lazy.

D and I only practiced one day together this week. I love being in the dojo with him, but he was too tired on Thursday night to join me, and I so understand that feeling. He practiced yoga on Wednesday while I hit the dojo again. By Thursday we were both pretty wrecked, but I managed to drag myself to weapons class anyway. It is my favorite night to practice because I find it very satisfying to be able to disarm a person holding a tanto.

Since I am new to Aikido I move more carefully, but my Sensei says that I have a natural sense for Aikido, a wonderful compliment coming from him, and very inspiring since I am struggling so with my rolls. Rolling seems to be a common issue for new Aikidoka. We are all pretty awkward in the beginning. Some people don't roll for a year, others get it pretty quick, I think I will fall in somewhere in the middle. My backwards rolls are better than my forward ones, but I keep trying. I work on my falls whenever I can. Falling can be hard on your body, especially falling over, and over, and over, and over...which I do. As an uke it is your job to take the falls so your nage. Of course, when I am nage it is the black belts turn to fall, which I like better, but it is a good way to learn when you are the uke.

I think the hardest part in class are the throw-downs. This is when you are on your back, holding your classmates ankle, raising your legs up straight only to have your classmate try to slam them back down to the ground. On Tuesday we did 100, on Wednesday we did 60, and Sensei was kind to us on Thursday and we only did 50. I was sure I was going to die, really. The coolest thing is that because I kept at it, I am actually not sore today. My muscles feel solid but not sore, I feel great

I will be spending the rest of my day being domestic. I have a ton of presents to wrap, we have finished with D's family already, 90% of my family and have a few friends to finish up with. We spoiled the kids, as usual, and D and I already gave Sandy and Frank their gift (a new computer) and have equally splurged on my mom, but she has to wait until December for hers. She will be screaming.

I finally posted our Thanksgiving pics. D transferred them to my computer for me (cause he is like that) and now I can link you to all the cuteness that was our holiday weekend. You might be shocked to see that most of the pics are of Jen...heh. She is so photogenic. Her dad just can't stop, he reminds me of my dad, who will never put the camera down when I am around him. They are so cute!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend, I know I will!

As It Should Be

I wish I could tell you all that I am well rested after our long weekend, but alas, I am exhausted! My Best Friend flew in last Friday from Philly with her boyfriend to celebrate both her bday and Thanksgiving. I spent Friday through Tuesday with Carmen either celebrating or just hanging out. She is SO wonderful. Just a truly amazing woman whom I love to pieces. I wish she still lived in SF but I know the move to Philly is temporary and I can last another few years. Her man, Alex, just purchased a house in Drexel Hills and I can not wait to go visit next year and have the comfort of a home with a backyard and a fireplace. The house is super cute.

On Wednesday night both Sandy and Jennifer arrived for the long weekend. Sandy arrived mid-day and then we all had to sit around waiting for the arrival of Jennifer later that evening. We were all so excited we couldn’t sit still. I think D left for the airport almost three hours early! When he and Jen finally arrived back at my house we nearly smothered her in love. She was so happy to be there. We all stayed up until midnight just chatting and laughing.

Thursday was Thanksgiving and we were having twenty guests to dinner. We spent a majority of the day cooking and setting up. Around 5:30 we sat down to a wonderful dinner with friends and family. It is funny how you nearly starve yourself all day so you can enjoy the meal and then can barely eat half of what is on your plate. Is this a holiday phenomenon? With turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and yams, green beans, salads, homemade rolls, cranberry sauce, and four different types of pies, I want to be able to eat all night. Unfortunately I barely made it to dessert. After everything was packed away and cleaned up, D, Jen and I crawled into my bed and watched Spanglish. Sandy joined us after Survivor ended in the living room.

On Friday we decided to celebrate Jen’s Sweet Sixteen (her actual bday was on Monday) with gifts and kisses. I think she preferred the gifts but Sandy isn’t so sure. Sandy gave her several new outfits and D and I gave her a diamond “J” pendant. Then we took her shopping for a new coat, some other clothes, a Winter Formal dress, jewelry and shoes. I am pretty sure she went home happy. Her dad gave her a car already but we are keeping it in CA for when she moves here.

We took Sandy to the airport that afternoon as we had decided it would be nice to have Jen for one day alone. It was so very cool to have Sandy with us for a few days, I love spending time with her. After dropping her off we all went to Ikea to get me a new bookshelf and then headed home.

D and Jen decided they wanted to see Just Friends and I had dinner plans with a group of friends to celebrate Mike’s 31st bday. I left around 6:30 for Q and met up with Carmen, Mary, Mikey, Alex, Paulie, and Debbie. I wasn’t feeling all that well but when I got there and saw the amazing wines they had for us to drink I had to partake, even if it was just a little. Over $350 dollars worth of wine in four bottles. The Opus One was by far my favorite.

After dinner we headed to the 540 Club, a semi-dive bar that is owned by an old friend of mine. We had a few rounds and I headed home.

When I got there D and Jen were curled up in my bed. D was watching a movie, Jen was snoring. We decided to move Jen to her bed so D woke her up and then went to turn her bed down. Jen just sorta stood there, looking around my room. I asked her if she needed anything and she said no, looked back at my bed, climbed BACK in and passed out! I was cracking up when I asked her father to please help me get her back up and in her own bed.

On Saturday D and Jen took off for a day together and I did all sorts of domestic things. When they returned we took Jen to her favorite restaurant in NoCal, Maya’s, for Mexican food. After dinner we rented some movies and headed home.

Sunday rolled around and we had to get Jen ready to head home. We still needed to buy her formal shoes so we went to breakfast and then back to the mall before heading to the airport. It is always sad seeing Jen leave, but this time it was different, this time we knew exactly when we would see her again and it is only 30 days out!

More pictures will be posted soon.

A Thanksgiving Gift

My Man is the best! Thank you baby.

True Art

Now THAT is a dragonfly!

Who?

I don't touch you the way I used to
And I don't call and write when I’m away
We don't make love as often as we did do
Couldn’t wait , now waits and it usually goes away

But listen and think when I say
Oh but listen and think when I say

Who makes you feel the way that I make you feel?
Who loves you and knows you the way I do?
Who touches you and holds you quite like I do?
Who makes you feel like I make you feel?

I don't mind if you come home late
I don't ever ask you where you've been
I just assume if there's a problem, you'd tell me

But listen and think when I say
Oh but listen and think when I say

Who makes you feel the way that I make you feel?
Who loves you and knows you the way I do?
Who touches you and holds you quite like I do?
Who makes you feel like I make you feel?
Who makes you feel like I make you feel?

Being weak when I am strong
Being seen for who you are
Being sad and lost but not alone

Who makes you feel like I make you feel?

Thank you Dido

Just "In Case" You Didn't Get Our SIX Emails!

Here is Jen's travel itinerary:

November 23 2005
Alaska Airlines 310
Depart: Portland, OR at 6:55 PM
Arrive: San Francisco, CA at 8:41 PM
Seats: 8B

November 27 2005
Alaska Airlines 457
Depart: San Francisco, CA at 6:00 PM
Arrive: Portland, OR at 7:35 PM
Seats: Will be assigned at airport

We look forward to seeing her, as I am sure our attorney let you know.

PS I can see every time you log in and so can the judge.

Lazy Blogger

Don’t the hours grow shorter as the days go by
You never get to stop and open our eyes
One minute you’re waiting for the sky to fall
The next you’re dazzled by the beauty of it all

Lovers in a dangerous time

These fragile bodies of touch and taste
This fragrant skin this hair like lace
Spirits open to the thrust of grace
Never a breath you can afford to waste

Lovers in a dangerous time

When you’re lovers in a dangerous time
Sometimes you’re made to feel as if your love’s a crime
Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
Got to kick at the darkness ’til it bleeds daylight

When you’re lovers in a dangerous time

Thank you BNL

To the citizens of the United States of America

A Message from John Cleese (of Monty Python fame) To the citizens of the United States of America:

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminum, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up vocabulary).

Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will letMicrosoft know on your behalf. Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of-ize.

You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grownup enough to handle a gun. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect.

At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue inFour Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.

You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of allmonies due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.

The Girl Can't Help It

This is what happens when I go hold a friend's hand while she is getting tattooed. I just can't seem to say no. I have to avoid the palors all together. Picture Machine is super cool. I was there with Kris while she got her sleeve worked on and before I knew it I was under the gun. I plan on getting my right wrist done in a couple of weeks. A queens crown to match my kings crown. I feel unbalanced, or maybe that's just my excuse...

Intelligent Design

Day No. 1:

And the Lord God said, “Let there be light,” and lo, there was light. But then the Lord God said, “Wait, what if I make it a sort of rosy, sunset-at-the-beach, filtered half-light, so that everything else I design will look younger?”

“I’m loving that,” said Buddha. “It’s new.”

“You should design a restaurant,” added Allah.

Day No. 2:

“Today,” the Lord God said, “let’s do land.” And lo, there was land.

“Well, it’s really not just land,” noted Vishnu. “You’ve got mountains and valleys and—is that lava?”

“It’s not a single statement,” said the Lord God. “I want it to say, ‘Yes, this is land, but it’s not afraid to ooze.’ ”

“It’s really a backdrop, a sort of blank canvas,” put in Apollo. “It’s, like, minimalism, only with scale.”

“But—brown?” Buddha asked.

“Brown with infinite variations,” said the Lord God. “Taupe, ochre, burnt umber—they’re called earth tones.”

“I wasn’t criticizing,” said Buddha. “I was just noticing.”

Day No. 3:

“Just to make everyone happy,” said the Lord God, “today I’m thinking oceans, for contrast.”

“It’s wet, it’s deep, yet it’s frothy; it’s design without dogma,” said Buddha, approvingly.

“Now, there’s movement,” agreed Allah. “It’s not just ‘Hi, I’m a planet—no splashing.’ ”

“But are those ice caps?” inquired Thor. “Is this a coherent vision, or a highball?”

“I can do ice caps if I want to,” sniffed the Lord God.

“It’s about a mood,” said the Angel Moroni, supportively.

“Thank you,” said the Lord God.

Day No. 4:

“One word,” said the Lord God. “Landscaping. But I want it to look natural, as if it all somehow just happened.”

“Do rain forests,” suggested a primitive tribal god, who was known only as a clicking noise.

“Rain forests here,” decreed the Lord God. “And deserts there. For a spa feeling.”

“Which is fresh, but let’s give it glow,” said Buddha. “Polished stones and bamboo, with a soothing trickle of something.”

“I know where you’re going,” said the Lord God. “But why am I seeing scented candles and a signature body wash?”

“Shut up,” said Buddha.

“You shut up,” said the Lord God.

“It’s all about the mix,” Allah declared in a calming voice. “Now let’s look at some swatches.”

Day No. 5:

“I’d like to design some creatures of the sea,” the Lord God said. “Sleek but not slick.”

“Yes, yes, and more yes—it’s a total gills moment,” said Apollo. “But what if you added wings?”

“Fussy,” whispered Buddha to Zeus. “Why not epaulets and a sash?”

“Legs,” said Allah. “Now let’s do legs.”

“Are we already doing dining-room tables?” asked the Lord God, confused.

“No, design some creatures with legs,” said Allah. So the Lord God, nodding, designed an ostrich.

“First draft,” everyone agreed, and so the Lord God designed an alligator.

“There’s gonna be a waiting list,” Zeus murmured appreciatively.

“Now do puppies!” pleaded Vishnu. “And kitties!”

“Ooooo!” all the gods cooed. Then, feeling a bit embarrassed, Zeus ventured, “Design something more practical, like a horse or a mule.”

“What about a koala?” asked the Lord God.

“Much better,” Zeus declared, cuddling the furry little animal. “I’m going to call him Buttons.”

Day No. 6:

“Today I’m really going out there,” said the Lord God. “And I know it won’t be popular at first, and you’re all gonna be saying, ‘Earth to Lord God,’ but in a few million years it’s going to be timeless. I’m going to design a man.”

And everyone looked upon the man that the Lord God designed.

“It has your eyes,” Zeus told the Lord God.

“Does it stack?” inquired Allah.

“It has a naïve, folk-artsy, I-made-it-myself vibe,” said Buddha. The Inca sun god, however, only scoffed. “Been there. Evolution,” he said. “It’s called a shaved monkey.”

“I like it,” protested Buddha. “But it can’t work a strapless dress.” Everyone agreed on this point, so the Lord God announced, “Well, what if I give it nice round breasts and lose the penis?”

“Yes,” the gods said immediately.

“Now it’s intelligent,” said Aphrodite.

“But what if I made it blond?” giggled the Lord God.

“And what if I made you a booming offscreen voice in a lot of bad movies?” asked Aphrodite.

Day No. 7:

“You know, I’m really feeling good about this whole intelligent-design deal,” said the Lord God. “But do you think that I could redo it, keeping the quality but making it at a price point we could all live with?”

“I’m not sure,” said Buddha. “You mean, what if you designed a really basic, no-frills planet? Like, do the man and the woman really need all those toes?”

“Hello!” said the Lord God. “Clean lines, no moving parts, functional but fun. Three bright, happy, wash ’n’ go colors.”

“Swedish meets Japanese, with maybe a Platinum Collector’s Edition for the geeks,” Buddha decided.

“Done,” said the Lord God. “Now let’s start thinking about Pluto. What if everything on Pluto was brushed aluminum?”

“You mean, let’s do Neptune again?” said Buddha.

Misogi

I finally did it. I joined a dojo. I am officially a member of Suginami Aikikai - San Francisco. I own a Gi. I can fall without hurting myself. I can roll (well kinda). I can even throw you, provided you are an Uke and that is your job. I love it.

I have never been terribly athletic. In fact I have never lasted in any "sport" I have ever tried. Volleyball? I broke three fingers. Basketball? I tired running the court. Baseball? Couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. Nothing seemed to fit me, or rather, I didn't seem to fit.

But something about Aikido just makes me feel so unbelievably good. I sweat, I get my heart rate up, I stretch, I get hurt, I get tired, I get sore but I keep going back for more. Why you ask (well maybe you didn’t ask but I am telling you anyway). Because in spite of all the pain and fatigue I get high from the workout. I am invigorated when class is over. I can’t seem to stop talking about techniques and the simplest accomplishments I make during class. Some of my oldest fears, about looking silly or hurting myself, simply vanish when I am in at the Dojo. The spirituality and humility, the respect and the honor, these are things I love having in my life, and Aikido is providing me with them.

I can not stress enough just how beautiful this experience is for me. If you get the chance, take a minute to read about this lovely art. The history is amazing.

I recently had the honor of attending a seminar with Kato Hiroshi Shihan. Kato Sensei was born in 1935 and began his training at the age of 19. This gentle man stands maybe 5’ 6” and was the most graceful person I had ever witnessed. He was kind and sincere, funny and charming. He did not speak a word of English, but I was able to follow him none-the-less. He would take time out to speak to us “newbies” and show us easier ways to fall or roll. I was such a pleasure to attend a class with him. I look forward to his next visit.

All of the teachers at Suginami are wonderful. I have enjoyed working with everyone in the classes as well. They are patient and remind me at every class that they have all been where I am at now and it only gets better. Now I am off for a hot bath and a few Advil…it is par for the course.

Konban wa

Feeding Frenzy in Philly

I spent a long weekend in Philly. My best-friend flew me over as my b-day present (thank you again!). Paul decided to join me for the trip and we spent a painful, sleepless night on an airplane, arriving in PA at 7ish (also knows as 4 AM for Paul and I.)

Carmen was kind enough to drive us directly back to her place and put me in her new bed at around 10 AM. I am not sure where those 2 hours went but man I was happy snuggled up.

We slept until noon or so then we all showered and headed to Bryn Mawr. This is the sleepy little town Pea attends her PhD program at Bryn Mawr College. Now let me tell you, Bryn Mawr looks just like Hogwarts and I found myself often scanning the sky for brooms. It is beautiful. I would love to go to school there, if I ever found myself interested in school again. In addition to seeing her school, meeting her co-workers in the child testing center, being taken to lunch, Carmen also treated me to a microdermabrasion facial at O.M.G. O.M.G. is a super fancy spa in Gladwyne PA owned by Maurice Tannenbaum, a very famous hairstylist in PA who charges $400 for a trim. Needless to say, I stuck with my facial and pinned my hair up so he wouldn’t say “Darling, the things I can so with those tresses.” I am a sucker for a gay man with scissors.

After my hour long facial we headed back into town and relaxed until dinner. Around 8 we headed Boom Boom, an Italian family owned restaurant that got its name from two mafia bombings. The first time they didn’t get their man…

Dinner was amazing. Platters of pasta with fresh crab and prawns. Even though we all ate enough to kill a horse we just couldn’t find the will power to avoid dessert. One of each and four spoons please?

Friday is a blur of shopping, food, drinks and laughs. Really, I can’t remember what happened but I think there was a long (and lost) drive though German Town or something. Visually lovely but I might be mixing up days.

On Saturday we tripped around the Italian district, met some neighbors, went to South Street where Carmen got her nose pierced and I got my lipped stretched. We shopped, ate Philly pizza and went home.

That night we had a special evening planned. Paul got us reservations at Morimoto. He was treating us to an amazing experience of dining. We made plans to meet a couple of friends of Carmen and Alex’s who met us at the restaurant. A really nice couple, and if I wasn’t brain dead, I would recall their names (this will happen again later in my blog.)

Morimoto is a restaurant owned by Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto and Stephen Starr. Morimoto is known all over the world; his food is like art. Paul suggested we all indulge in Omakase - “CHEF'S CHOICE - A MULTI-COURSE TASTING MENU DESIGNED TO ALLOW YOU TO EXPERIENCE THE ESSENCE OF MORIMOTO'S CUISINE” We sipped on Kabuki’s (Stoli Oranj, Triple Sec, a Splash of Sour and OJ garnished with am orange wedge) while nibbling on seared Kobe Beef Tartar Tokyo turnips and Sudachi vinaigrette. Nine course in all. Not to mention the 10 or so bottles of sake we consumed between the six of us. Woot! The meal was wonderful, the company was incredible, and the bill was astonishing. Once again, thank you Paulie for your generosity!

We headed to a local bar called Vegas for a last drink before rolling home to Carmen and Alex’s and passing out on the bed.

A lot of our time was spent just being together, the four of us, enjoying each others company, sneaking outside for a little space or watching the first season of Scrubs.

On Sunday we did some more eating and lounging and shopping. What amazed me was no sooner had we finished on meal when someone was pondering where we would go for the next. Oh yeah, we were a little food obsessed but damn if Philly eating isn’t fine!

On Sunday night we headed to Old Town to have dinner with another couple of friends (see here is were it happens again) at another fancy restaurant (yes, I forgot THAT name too) where we enjoyed chocolate martinis and steaks. Had a great evening. Headed home and passed out.

So now I am back home. I miss my Pea. Everyone treated me to everything, it was so very, very nice of them, I felt just like a Princess.

Special love to Carmen, Alex and Paul for making my trip so special! I love you all.

Quote of the Day

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.

- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

You Know

I have looked all over the place
But you have got my favorite face
Your eyelashes sparkle like gilded grass
And your lips are sweet and slippery like a cherub's bare wet ass

'Cause you're a human supernova
A solar superman
You're an angel with wings afire
A flying, giant friction blast

You walk in clouds of glitter and the sun reflects your eyes
And everytime the wind blows, I can smell you in the sky
Your kisses are as wicked as an M-16
And you fuck like a volcano, and you're everything to me

'Cause you're a human supernova
A solar superman
You're an angel with wings afire
A flying, giant friction blast
You're a giant, flying friction blast

How to Woo Me Online

D: jeeeez. why does EVERYTHING I eat lately make me all gassy???

Kim: and why do you have to share with me?

D: darlin'... if a man cannot share with his woman, then a man is truly lost.

Kim: you want to share your gas with me?

D: if a man cannot share with his woman...

Kim: EVERYTHING?

D: this ain't a buffet

A Gift for ME

Yes, these are actuallya gift from me to my Man. However, since I find men in boots super sexy...they are really a gift for me too!

For Mom Two

Just to clarify about "not agreeing on everything":

Mom and I debate, which I love, and always walk away smiling. We have never disagreed on anything major and even on the minor items we are always respectful and supportive of one another!

In other words, I love you Sandy!

You Can't Teach an Old Bitch New Tricks

Let me introduce Isabella (formerly Betty Poop). Isa was living in San Diego with D's cousin Lena and her beautiful kids. Unfortunately Lena's painful schedule did not allow for a puppy so D and I adopted her on our way out of town a few weeks ago.

But I am getting ahead of myself. After we returned from OR we began scheduling trips for Jen to come visit us as per the court order. The first attempt we made we ran into a road-block from Jen's mom. It was amazing. Here we had left court not a few days earlier after coming to a mutual agreement and she was already denying the visitation. After a few emails from D reminding her of the court ruling we finally settled on our first visit. It is so exciting. We are currently attempting to schedule Thanksgiving, I imagine I will be here again letting you know how difficult it can be...

While we were in OR we received a call from D's mom telling us that Grandpa Berry had been diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer that is inoperable. This was (is) heartbreaking news. They have given him two months to be with us. So D and I decided that we should jump in the car and drive down to see Grandpa the weekend after returning home from OR. We left around 2 in the afternoon on Friday and arrived late that night. We spent most of Saturday hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa Berry at their home. Grandma cooked for us (she is awesome) and we played with the kids and chatted up Grandpa. D's brother and sister-in-law, Eric and Gia, were also there visiting but we didn't get a lot of time with them this trip.

That night after Grandpa was ready for bed D and I took Lena, her three kids, Lori (another cousin) and Andrew to dinner. We had a great time laughing and being silly. I was surrounded by such lovely kids, I really enjoyed it.

The next morning I sat with Sandy and had coffee before we left to drive home. I ALWAYS enjoy those mornings with my second mom, we can talk for hours, even if we don't agree on everything, and still have a great time. She is such a loving woman, I am thankful that she and I get along so well.

After we were all packed and ready to go Sandy and I were kind of chatting our way out the door when she mentioned that Lena needed a home for her puppy and I jumped on it. We called Lena and 20 minutes later I had Isa in my lap and we were heading home. She did OK in the car, peed on me twice, but I survived.

Now she is a fixture in our home. She comes to work with D and I every day, then comes home to play with her 3 new siblings till bed time. She is loving the back yard, her private bedroom and her new wardrobe. I just adore her!

Get Comfortable, This is Gonna Take Awhile

So much has happened recently I am not sure where to begin. As many of you know, D and I were heading to OR to go before a judge and plead his case for a modification in visitation for him and his daughter. The request for more time with D came directly from his (not so) little girl so there was NO way we were not moving forward with it.

D and I left for OR on Tuesday afternoon and arrived at a decent hour. We rented an SUV (Jen’s favorite) and drove from Portland to McMinnville, OR. Once we got there we went to our B&B to settle in for the night. The proprietor had left me an envelope with the keys and a lovely note welcoming me to her establishment. The note also requested that I call her and let her know we had arrived.

After we checked out our “African” room I went downstairs to call the owners. Cheryl, a lovely woman who has been very kind to us welcomed me and asked if everything was to my liking (I am a picky traveler). Of course I was all good with our room. She then asked me if D.W. (she used his full name) was who I was there with. I said yes, ummm, why do you ask? And she says “his ex-wife called looking for him.” My first thought was “Why is Mary calling here?” a fraction of a second later I said out loud, “his WHAT?” She proceeds to tell me the following story:

“Well I got a phone call asking if a D.W had checked in, and of course I said no. Then the woman asked if a K.M. was staying with me and I said yes, thinking it might be the courts checking to see if you had arrived. You see, my ex-husband is a judge on the bench and so I know how these things work and I thought there no harm in saying you would be checking in later. So we hang up and shortly thereafter my phone rings again and the same woman asks if a S.C. would be staying with us (side note, S.C. is the step mom to D’s daughters brother and sister, if you can work that out). At this point I am confused so I ask her who she is and she says `My name is JH and I am D’s ex-wife (wtf?) and he is here taking me to court to get visitation of a daughter he hasn’t seen in FIFTEEN years (wtf again, we had her for a visit a few weeks ago) and to stop him from blah blah blah (personal information about Jen that I will not repeat here, nor would I tell the a PERFECT stranger). So I say to her, `whatever the case may be, my only advice to you is to make sure you abide by whatever the judge orders’ and then we hung up.”

Now picture me, sitting in an overstuffed chair in a gorgeous B&B with my jaw on the floor. I am embarrassed over this crazy behavior, I am shocked and I am pissed off. I start apologizing over and over again for the inappropriate behavior of someone else and Cheryl says “don’t apologize honey, I worked as a pysch ward nurse for 20 years, I am familiar with this kind of behavior.” I laugh but I am still so blown away. First of all this woman hunted us down. Secondly she had the nerve to call a place I was staying and tell lies and disclose confidential information to a stranger. Thirdly, I was raised to be polite, not to make an ass out of myself at every turn, so I am appalled at the whole situation.

Cheryl was so kind about it I was amazed. We talked about the fact that her ex was on the bench and what to expect and so on. She was very supportive. On top of it all, she didn’t charge us to stay this time because we had paid for a cancelled trip for last month (Jen’s mom pulled a last minute stunt to have the court date pushed out.)

Once I hung up with Cheryl I marched upstairs to talk to my Man. He was more amused and less stunned than I am about the matter. He is so used to this woman’s fanatical behavior that he kind of shrugs it off most of the time. I am the other hand am all uppity about it. However, after calling my mom, my sister and my best-friend I feel better. They remind me that this woman is clearly not dealing with a full deck of cards and that MOST people in the world do not conduct their lives so abominably. I take a deep breath and ask my BF to dinner.

Now I have been to Mac before but D hasn’t so I take him to Third Street, a five block “down-town” area and we have a nice rooftop dinner at McMenamin’s. The food there was very nice, as was the Ruby Ale I had. After dinner we walked and talked for an hour before calling it a night in our HUGE bed.

In the morning we used one of the two gift certificates given to us from Cheryl to have a nice breakfast at the Wild Wood Café. Man the food was good there! Then we meandered down Third Street again and I went into Twist to have my hair done. The stylist was awesome and she did a very nice job of weaving colors into my hair. While I was having my hair done D showed up with a new pair of Vans for me, I had eyed them the night before so he bought them as a little surprise gift for his girl. Just love him.

After we returned to our inn we got dressed and ready to meet with our attorney prior to court. He is a very nice man with very good advice. Not to mention he presented himself beautifully and inspired knowledge and trust in both of us.

When we arrived at court, about 15 minutes before our scheduled hearing time, JH’s attorney was already there. Ours showed up a minute later and then the judge came in. The judge was a very sweet woman who was ready to make things happen. Our two attorneys’ and she decided to try to mediate on D’s and Jen’s behalf. The three of them talked and around 2:35 Jen and her mom (along with JH’s mom and her mom’s ex-husband) arrived. Jen was called in to speak alone with the judge. Then our attorneys’ went back in and shortly after that our attorney approached us with a wonderful and fair compromise to what we were asking for. We knew we wouldn’t get EVERYTHING, but we go almost everything and that was fine by us.

At one point D and I went out to talk to Jen while our attorneys’ were in with the judge. It was a little awkward at first but seeing the smile on Jen’s face was well worth every minute. Jen’s mom hissed Jen’s name and when we all turned to look at her, well let me tell you, if looks could kill I would have a serious skinned knee! I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the glare I was getting. It was so unnecessary and so not threatening. It was like being in high school all over again.

Once we all entered the court room things went pretty well. We documented all the time we were getting with Jen, made a few concessions (ones didn’t impact us) and filed the motion. I won’t go into all the ridiculous details of how JH acted but suffice to say that D and I had a bet that she would not properly address the court (i.e., yes your honor and so on) and I lost. I was SO sure she had enough sense to be polite to the judge, but alas, I was wrong. She muttered her “yes’ and no’s” and that was about it. Another $20 down the drain.

The last thing ordered before we left court was that we could take Jen to dinner that night from 7:30-9:00 pm. We were thrilled! She called her new BF and asked him to join us. We all met up at McMenamin’s (once again). Jen’s BF Alex is great. He is smart and cute and adores Jen. Moreover he was able to keep up with my conversation which is HUGE on my list since I can be overbearing at times.

We had a nine o’clock curfew so we headed back to Jen’s right after dinner. When we arrived outside of Jen’s house it was 9:03 according to POPCORN (i.e., the call in time service) and Jen informed us her mom had already called! She missed the ringer due to conversation. Within 2 minutes her phone rang again. It was her mom. She barked at Jen for being late (I could hear her) and then hung up on her. Meanwhile we are standing right OUTSIDE her front door… some people.

D and I decided to grab a coffee on the way back and took another walk to bask in the wonderful feeling of having time with Jen.

The next morning we packed up and decided to go to Jen’s school for lunch. Her high school is an open campus which means she can leave for food and such. We met her out front and she told us she wanted lunch at Sage so that’s where we took her. We ran into Jen’s best friend Megan with her BF Andrew so we bought the whole crew lunch.

We ended up running to Megan’s house to see where she lived (about 30 seconds from the restaurant) and got a nice short tour and some pictures before we left (I will post those soon). As the girls headed back to school for class D and I headed to the airport for home.

All in all it was a wonderful trip. Sadly Jen got grounded for having lunch with her dad and me but she seems ok. She said it was worth it. Can’t help but love that kid!