My Chemical Romance

Let me start off by acknowledging my 10 readers (yes, 10! Hooked a new one) that I know the title of my post is not consistent with my previous blogs. All the others are song titles that (loosely) tie to the content of my writing while this one is a band name. I am changing it up for this post because the title is very appropriate for the blah, blah, blah that is to follow. I hope I didn't boggle your brains with the change up!

I started using drugs at a very young age. I was seven years old the first time I smoked pot. I quit smoking at the age of nine due to a bad experience. 

I had my first line of coke when I was 11. My sister, who was well on her addiction path, wanted me to try it with her. I think she was tired of being high alone. I remember listening to Devo on our record player while she nervously smoked out the window waiting for our parents to come home. I don't think I actually got high; likely I didn't get enough of the powder up my nose. I didn't understand why anyone would want to take something that made my sister so anxious and weird. It wouldn't take long for me to figure it out.

I have tried almost all the basics - Alcohol, Pot, Coke, Speed, Heroin, Morphine, Oxy, Hydro, Benzos, X, Nitrous, Mushrooms, LSD, PCP (by accident) and DMT. I have used designer drugs like Moxy and 2CB. And of course, I have used prescribed medication (Effexor and Clonazepam) for 25 years. I have drunk, smoked, snorted and injected drugs. I have never had fear around trying something new. Except for one drug - Ketamine.

There was something about witnessing people in a K-hole that just freaked me out. The way they simply, and quickly, disappeared into themselves. How I felt like there was no way to reach them and was always worried that they might not return. It held no charm from my point of view.

I would never have imagined one day saying that Ketamine saved my life. 

I don't use drugs anymore with the exception of my prescribed medicine. Since I started KIT I have cut my alcohol consumption down to maybe a glass of wine once a month. While I tried a lot of drugs when I was younger, most I only tried once out of curiosity. Even pot is a big deal for me to use. I don't feel the need to alter my state of mind or body. In fact, I feel fiercely protective of my gray matter. Knowing how KIT works has made me more aware of the impact using has on my brain. 

Post-treatment (I have had 8) I started using ketamine nasal spray once every two weeks. I have been able to cut my Effexor from 150mgs to 75mgs with no side-effects. Next month I will reduce it to 37.5. My hope is to finally be off of it by the end of the year. 

Life is not perfect; I suffer from stress and anxiety over the same things everyone else does. However, K has turned my world around. Four months ago I was ready to die. This morning I woke up with an easy smile on my face and the ridiculously loud sound of three Criminals mewling for their breakfast. Simple pleasures.

xoks