This is Not a Sex Blog

I will not disclose the details of how I spent my day yesterday but suffice to say (insert my favorite NIN song here)...MEOW.

I know, I am leaving you all to roll around in the gutters of your minds (I am talking to you Mr. NSA) but I am just not the kind of girl who "kisses and tellses".  I can see my stats, those hundreds of admirers reading my blog (no, no trolling bots or anything).  One of you might work with me or know one of my mothers or something.  I am just not willing to risk my perfect reputation just to sate your curiosity.  Let's just pretend I never wrote this and move along.

xoks

Black Laundry in Bed

Dear Criminals,

In all of thirty seconds, just enough time for me to take my folded towels to the bathroom, the three of you managed to destroy an entire load of freshly washed black clothing.  

Yes, it was my fault that I placed that yummy, warm, completely clean laundry on my bed to fold.  Yes, I turned my back for a moment to put a few things away.  And yes, it is my fault I washed a load of black clothing, knowing how much you love watching me walk out of the house covered in your fur.  But did ALL three of you have to plot against me?  Did you need to burrow deep into the pile to ensure every single piece of clothing was covered in your hairballs?  There are not enough lint brushes in the world to rid me of your evil-doing...

With a lack of respect,

Your quarter-less human

Strange Relationships

I am oddly involved with a few different men.  Nothing serious; mostly getting to know you stuff.  Yet it is already complicated.

Guy #1 - He lives in NY.  He is very successful, very handsome and 3,000 miles away.  We are working out seeing one another but both of our schedules are somewhat chaotic and this makes planning frustrating.  How long does one wait before just blowing it off?

Guy #2 - He is really young.  Granted, we aren't thinking marriage here but is it ok to date someone who hasn't ever heard of Quadraphenia? I am really pondering this.

Guy #3 - I don't even know what to say about this one.  I have known him for ages and he is very sweet, somewhat naive and very confused.  Our lives are so different I sometimes wonder how we even connect at all.  Maybe it is all in my head.

Guy #4 - One of my favorite people ever.  Just so short on time.  Getting together on a "quarterly basis" makes me feel like I am on his BOD rather than his mind.

So do I just scrap it all and start over?  Sigh, seems like a lot of work and this girl is already tired.

xoks

Not to be Censored

I took some time to read old posts.  I am a drama queen.  We all know it.  That being said I will not censor my writing for fear that someone out there might not like what I have to say.  This is my place to spew and spout whatever I feel like and I am happy to do it to anyone or no one (we shall see if anyone even reads this thing anymore.)

It has been a very hard few years.  I ended a long, tumultuous relationship. I changed jobs.  I left a lot of people behind and I am trying to reconnect with the world.  I never thought heartbreak could actually bring me to my knees but it did and it took a long time to learn to stand again.  

So now I need to walk, if not run, though my crazy life.  I am working on my self-worth; my understanding of my value in this world.  I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a lover, and, maybe most importantly, a godmother.  I have people who love me and stand by my side, even when I feel like crawling though my day.  I greatly appreciate everyone who has been there for me even when they don't understand me.  

So to anyone out there who might be reading, I love you and thank you for being a part of my wacky life.

xoks

Does this thing work?

All my pics are missing.  All my rantings are here.  Now let's see if I can still write.

Merry Christmas!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Pumpkin Gingerbread Trifle and Apple Crisp

Two out of three complete.  They are much prettier in person.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Has it Really Been a Year?

Wow, I used to be so good at this. I guess my life has become so hum-ho that I have nothing to share (lies).

I made a date for next Monday night to go to a firing range and, woo-hoo, it's Ladies Night!

It has been 20 years since I fired a gun so if I never post again you will know what happened to me.

I know there was another reason I logged on, something I wanted to share but it simply slipped my mind in the time it took me to remember how the hell to login. I am getting old.

Yes We DID!

CONGRATULATIONS
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

Happy Valentines Day

I came into work this morning to find this on my desk




My team loves me. Thank you all for the thoughtful gift.

All That Glitters Is...

This is insane packaging. When I got my Gold card it came in your basic white envelope. The only thing the Platinum card was missing was the Armed Guard delivery.

The Sweetest Thing

I received this from a lovely friend as a "non-Christmas" gift:

This is by far one of the most amazing gifts I have ever received. I can not thank you enough for knowing me so well.

Get My Fall On

I was feeling a little bored so I decided to try something new. This is my old livingroom:

And this is my new livingroom:

I am not sure this is the final change, it is the second set of colors I have been through (the first being the most terrifying silver/blue I have ever seen.) Am I seeing a little too much brown here? The color is richer in real time but still I may need to try one more color scheme before I decide.

The next purchase/upgrade will be new coffee tables. That one looks so little with the new couch. I need something heartier to balance it all out. Or maybe I should just stop retail therapy right now. Naa.

Time Well Spent

I have just gotten back from my latest adventure. A week on the beach in Corolla. With wild Mustangs and even wilder friends.

Kerri turned forty last week. She is hating me right now for emphasizing this fact but alas, it is true. We have been friends for 24 years. TWENTY-FOUR. Yikes. Every year has gotten better and better. She is one of my most favorite people ever. I hope she knows that

The week started with Kerri, Suzanne, Summer, Anna, Lars, Stephen, Alicia and Melissa at the house. Mid-week Alicia, Mel and Stephen went home and my Sweet Pea and Alex joined us. It was one of the most relaxing and enjoyable trips I have taken in a long while (or at least a few months).

Coming home was a little tough. I love this group of people. I miss time with them. It makes me want to own a great big house and move them all in so we can hang out everyday drinking beer and lounging by the sea. Perhaps it is time to play the lottery?

Thank you Kerri, for such a lovely trip. And Happy Birthday Boo.

I Have Been Bad. Spank Me?

I have not written in over two months. What the hell have I been doing?

I turned 38 last month. How the hell did I get so old? I swear I was just 17 the other day. A cute little bleach blonde with no job and a stable of boyfriends. I kinda miss the stable thing.

I am leaving on vacation (yes again) tomorrow morning. One of my dearest friends, Kerri, is turning 40 on Saturday and she rented a house in Corolla for a group of us to join her in celebration. I will be meeting her in North Carolina and making the drive with her to Corolla. A week on the beach, sigh

I posted pics from my last trip and will add Corolla upon my return. With no internet connection in NC I guess you will all (does anyone read this anymore?) have to wait until I return for the details.

Juan et Juan Equals Two

K and S took me out to Chapel Hill last night to party party. We had a nice little Mexican dinner outside, drinking beer and eating cheesy steak tacos. It was raining a little and the temperature dropped to a reasonable 85 at ten at night.

After dinner Kerri took us to her favorite bar, The Cave. A very cool underground bar with live bands and a little pool table in back. Suzanne was so awed that I knew pool terminology she insisted that I play. I approached the two guys playing pool and asked if there was a list. Neither spoke much English but we worked it out to play doubles. Turns out their names were, you guessed it, Juan et Juan. Just two buddies hanging out picking up on chicks. Juan number one had a brilliant El DeBarge circa 1982 hairdo. Juan number two spoke not even one word of English but smiled at me a lot. Kerri and I held our own but Juan 1 was a pretty good shot and we ended up 2 to 2 in the end.

At one point I had to make a shot where my ass was in the face of three strangers. I warned them, they didn't move and then a tall blond guy pretended to hit my ass while I was shooting. When Juan 1 noticed he said to me " you bend like that in front of man he thing sweet luscious." Nice.

A few friends of K & S's joined us for a drink at the cave then convinced me I belonged in Hell. Yet another trip to an underground bar where you have to apply for a card (I am now a card carrying member of Hell) before they can serve you mixed drinks. Gotta love the ABC.

The place was dark, cool and smelly. Filled with wanna be goths, frat boys/girls and PBR at a buck fiddy. The jukebox was definitely one of the most interesting ones I have ever come across. The main bartender managed it and it felt like something you might find at CBGB's. It rocked. Unfortunately they were out of Stella so I didn't want to stay long.

At three AM we called it a night, errr morning and crashed out. For some reason sleep would not come over me until 5 AM so yours truly is a major mess at the moment and calling it an early night.

Tonight will be laying low and chillin' on the deck serving as a feast for the mosquitoes. Stella aplenty.

The Carolinas

Last Friday I jumped on a plane for North Carolina. I was met at the airport by Kerri and Suzanne. They moved out here a year ago and this is the first time I have been out to visit them in their beautiful new home. Their house is lovely; a large soft yellow exterior two story dwelling with three bedrooms on the second floor, a large living, dining, and den area and a sweet open kitchen and eating room. I accidentally left my card reader at home so pictures will be posted later

I spent Friday night in NC and on Saturday morning we drove two cars to Charleston (Kerri loaned me her BMW) so the three of us could hang out for a long night and day in SC. The drive was about four hours but it was so beautiful it just flew by. The three of us went out to diner at the Noisy Oyster in Downtown Charleston on Saturday and then spent Sunday milling about the area. It was so unbelievably hot there that whenever you walked into a store the sweat would just pour off of you. Not an attractive day for me.

Charleston is beautiful. Everyone was so friendly and helpful. The one eerie thing is in the middle of downtown there is a huge semi-enclosed market where vendors sell all sorts of junk (emphasis on the word junk). The market was previously used to sell slaves and it was difficult for me to ignore that. It made my skin crawl. Sometimes the South holds nothing but beauty for me, other times I can still feel the days gone, especially when confederate flags still wave on poles and as tattoos on the rednecks shoulders. Sigh.

Mid-afternoon I headed out to Edisto Island while the girls headed home. My family (dad and step-mom) had rented two houses on the beach for a family reunion. The family is my step-moms. A lively and large (20 plus) group of mostly southerners who eat, drink, chat and really know how to have a good time. The reunion was for several monumental birthdays; Grandma's 90th, my uncle Ned's 75th, and my aunt Judy's 60th. Cake every night, yum.

The house on the beach was amazing. A huge screened in porch overlooking the ocean that was never colder than 80 degrees. Dolphins swimming so close you could see their facial expressions (if they actually had any). Logger Head Turtle nests that would come to life late at night as the newborns tried to reach the ocean.

My cousins and brothers and I would sit on the porch late at night drinking beer and playing games. Well I would drink beer. Hunter and Jake, my brothers, 17 and 15, my cousins Lauren and Jordan, and Lauren's wife, Nancy all had drinks of their choosing (I was very stingy with my Stella). Sitting outside in shorts, feeling a breeze coming off of the ocean, stopping on Palmetto bugs and slamming back beers, life was good.

I spent five days hanging out with the family. On Tuesday we took a boat out into the Edisto Ocean/Lake area. For a good long while we were surrounded by dolphins, jumping in groups for show, bobbing their heads up and showing off their newborns. It had me awed. The captain of the boat stayed close to them for my benefit but the rest of the group wanted to get going so we headed out to look at the various islands and plantations on our 2 hour tour.

The remainder of the trip was spent lounging, beaching, drinking and eating to the point of silliness. I was able to read a book in two days, that's how lazy it was. Glorious and sloth-like, as vacations should be.

On Friday morning I headed back to NC. It took me six hours to arrive back at K and S's house where they greeted me with pizza and beer, thank the gods. Now I am sitting on their back deck in the heat watching the cats play in the yard and drinking coffee. I could live like this.

"I could spend a lifetime staring into those eyes."

The BEST bar pick-up line I have ever received. Hands down.

Happy Birthday Kiki

We had a big celebration for Kiki last night for her bday. She looked lovely. Rock on babe.

Out of Sight...

It is funny how you think you might not survive certain events in your life. How a situation may break your heart to the point of never feeling again. How a moment may leave you a shell of who you used to be. This actually never happens to me.

What I find happens, more often than not, is that I become a stronger person for the things in life that cause me to pause. I do tend to curl up and spend some time lingering in the emotions of it all but I always come out the other side feeling like I have accomplished something real.

I have spent the last year or so trying to figure out a strange relationship that has had me in a bit of a tailspin. I don't want to get into detail here but suffice to say it has finally found an end and I have mixed feelings on the matter. Some days I am pleased that we realized it wasn't right for us and other days, well, they suck.

After spending 12 years in very broken relationships I think I learned a little about cutting your losses. Some may say a year is a long time, but with this man, it was merely a blink. Every minute was wonderful, even the hard times. I will forever be thankful that he came into my life to make me laugh, hold my hand when I was sad and remind me daily that I am worth it all.

Perfect

I have eyed this beauty for a long time. Teresa Moore is a local San Francisco artist that I have been in love with for the last few years. Her prints are a little pricey but I broke down and bought myself this piece:

I can not tell you how happy I was to hang her on my wall tonight. She was just what I needed to make my room whole.