My third session was intense. We upped my dosage to 90mg. After 10 minutes on the drip, I began giggling and slurring my speech. I am very grateful it was my mom by my side because no one else would make fun of me once I sobered up quite like my mother.
Yesterday and today I feel more groggy than usual. I am also less euphoric with a bit of a low feeling in my body and head but the doc said that some people experience a mild depression up until session six. I am allowing myself to feel whatever comes my way.
I was able to jump out of bed yesterday and clean my house. I also stayed out of bed the whole day which is highly unusual for a Sunday; a day I always allow my depression to own by laying in bed and crying while chain-smoking. This Sunday I wanted to do small things to make my surroundings nicer. I felt at peace washing dishes and doing laundry. I didn't feel the need to nap or pull the covers over my head. It's the first Sunday in months I have felt this way. That is some serious progress for a person like me.
I feel like I have been living inside Shirley Manson's head for the last seven plus years and it's been exhausting. The slow, sweet relief I am getting from my treatments is like kick-starting an old motorcycle. May take a few times but the sweet sound of the engine purring is always worth it.
xoks
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