Sunday is depression day. As I have said before, it's a day usually reserved for laying in bed awash in negative feelings, tears and cigarettes. Not today. Today I am smiling. Despite the fact that I forgot to turn off my alarm (I get one day people, ONE day) I still hopped out of bed and started to function. This is really important to understand; functionality is as important as my mood shift. KIT doesn't take away the issues that made my depression unbearable, it alleviates the overwhelming sense of fear and grief. It lifts that cloud and allows me a gentler way to move through those issues. It gives me a less dramatic feel to the darkness that has followed me around for 30 plus years.
Getting back to functionality - most people I know who suffer from depression simply struggle to function. I am high-functioning in my job. I have always been that way. It was a huge fear of mine that I would be unable to pay my rent and care for The Criminals so this kept me working hard and on point. However, that was sort of it. The rest could melt away and I didn't care. Of course, I have had beautiful moments in my life; spending time in NOLA, live music shows, getting to travel to other countries, watching little ones grow up. Moments I have deeply appreciated and honestly enjoyed, but those moments are like holidays from my day-to-day life. They pop up here and there to whisk you away but you always have to return to your real life.
I am realistic. I know that I need to work through some underlying problems and keep working on my well-being. KIT was instrumental in kick-starting my brain and relieving me of the heaviest of my hurt. It worked. It is that simple. It took that cloud that hovers over my head and washed it away. It saved my life. If you are hurting and out of traditional solutions, please consider this path. It can lead you to a better way of living. It can help you find your "Why".
xoks
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