Special K

Yesterday was my first treatment. Wow. I am floored by how I feel today. But before getting into that, let me take you on a little trip.

My mom was loving enough to take me to Palo Alto for my first infusion. On the drive down she asked me if I was scared. I told her I wasn't afraid of the procedure itself, I was afraid it might not work...then what would I do?

Once we reached the center we were greeted by a very kind doctor who had been working with Ketamine for over 20 years. He had started his practice using the treatment for pain relief and slowly transitioned to the mental health field as the drug was seen to prompt the regrowth of connections between brain cells that are involved in mood. In simple terms, it was regrowing nerves in the brain. 

We went into a small room where I was tucked in bed with my mom by my side. I was made to feel very safe and comfortable. He put an IV in my arm and started with a valium like cocktail before opening the saline-ketamine solution.  Within seconds I was floating from the valium; within minutes I was in a far away place.  While I was able to hold a conversation, I can't say I remember everything discussed. Up until the last few minutes I was golden - then the valium wore off and I started to feel slightly anxious.  The doctor assured me that was normal which helped me breathe through it.  About 10 minutes after the infusion was complete I was able to walk (albeit on clouds) back to my mom's car. 

The drive back was about an hour, and over that time the effects wore off.  I was very tired when I got home, but unable to nap. By 10 PM I was sound asleep.

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. No idea what I was dreaming about, but there was a definite weight missing from my usual morning routine.  To say that I feel better would be an understatement. I feel like the cloud that has been hovering over my head has shrunk in half. I am smiling and laughing. I even managed to get through a text from an ex that would normally have me in tears with a simple "no thank you". This is ONE treatment. I go back tomorrow for treatment number two and I am beyond hopeful. I will receive a total of six treatments between yesterday and next Saturday and I believe that my cloud will soon be replaced with much-needed sunshine.

xoks