My therapist has given me yet another homework assignment (thanks Kat!) I am to write farewell letters to the parts of me that are no longer useful and/or that never belonged in the first place. Since this is where I do all my writing, my next few posts might be even more of a downer than usual (How is that possible you ask? Wait and see.)
Dear unloveable four year old,
There is nothing a child can do that makes them unworthy of love. All children, even the rotten ones, deserve to feel and be loved. You did nothing wrong. You were sensitive, vulnerable, afraid and lonely. You tried everything to make it known that all you wanted was to be safe and noticed. You craved the affection and attention of your father who wasn't available to give you that. As a result, you felt unworthy of anything resembling love. This simply wasn't true. You were and are very loved. However, it is time for you to go. I must embrace the sensitive side of me without being punitive with myself. I will sometimes be vulnerable, afraid and lonely, but the person I need to be today will be able to take care of me even in the darkest of times.
I want to thank you for being a sweet, loving little pain in the ass, but I am moving on without you.
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