Shelter

Yesterday I had my first flirtation with feeling depressed. Not like before, nothing close. 

I had hoped to take my new book to the botanical gardens to read in the sun. It was dreary in SF so a little drive about town was all I got. I felt lonely and isolated. 

I am learning to live with this type of sadness. Living things get sad, lonely, scared, tired, grumpy. All natural emotions that are safe to feel. Having come out of my deepest depression ever, especially via KIT, I am afraid that a single tear means I am 5150 bound and that somehow the infusions were a temporary reprieve from my darkness. Then I stop and really check in with my head, heart and body. This sadness is unable to break me. My loneliness, I can reach out to 10 people right now and find wonderful company. Scared, tired, grumpy? I can manage. I have the tools. I don't have to fall down the rabbit hole. My depression doesn't own me anymore. I have promised myself I will do whatever it takes to ensure it never does again. 

Daily lessons in Standard Human Emotions 101 (aka - Emotions for Dummies). 

xoks